Yesterday I poured out my heart and tears in a blog about my personal grief. If you missed it, please go back and read it before finishing this blog because you have to understand the past to fully appreciate what I am about to tell you.
In the past blog post, I mentioned that I called my precious friend and asked for prayer. She immediately prayed for me – right then and there on the phone. One of the things that she prayed for was my kiddos. Praying that I would be real in front of them in my grief. That they would see the tears as a true emotion but not be confused by the things that they don’t understand.
Neither my sweet friend nor I had any idea how God was going to use this small part of the prayer. Just six hours after blogging about my pain, God made beauty from ashes.
My husband came home yesterday at lunch and encouraged me with words and hugs. Before he left he said, “I think God is going to do something really cool with this.” I just looked at him with tear-stained eyes. Seriously? I mean, what can God do with 11-year-old grief?
I decided maybe there was someone out there in blog world who would be encouraged so I started writing my feelings out in yesterday’s post, “Confessions of a Grieving Girl.” Unsure how God could use a blumbering mess, I started typing and the post went live.
Six hours later it was bed time for our little ones. I was a tad bit frustrated because I was supposed to be out with my sweet friend on an “Encouragement Date” but had to miss because of t-ball practice for my son. Bedtime is normally Daddy time with the kids, but he and Bubs were at ball practice so I had bedtime duties. After putting Little Man to bed, I went in and laid down with Sweet Pea.
Tempted to just say goodnight and leave, we laid starring at the ceiling and began talking about the day. As Daddy does, I asked her what she wanted to pray about. She didn’t have a list tonight so I mentioned that Mommy could use prayer. Curious about this response, Sweet Pea asked why. I explained that I was really missing Aunt Tara today. Sweet Pea immediately told me that I will be able to see her in heaven.
Oh, how God uses our children to remind us of the simple truths.
I expressed how happy I was about that. Then, I asked her if she was going to heaven. Sweet Pea said she wanted to. I asked her how she can go to heaven and she replied “by asking Jesus into my heart.” We talked more and Sweet Pea prayed declaring her sin and need of grace from a loving God.
Afterward we talked about how all of Heaven was having a party! She is now a real princess! We took a picture and got her Princess with a Purpose book to write her name in the back. Then she started making phone calls and Skyping those she wanted to tell!
Priceless. My daughter is now my sister in Christ!
And I sit back in awe thinking through today…
Waking up with horrific dreams…
A morning filled with tears of grief…
A prayer for my children’s understanding of my grief…
Encouragement from my husband that God uses grief, even eleven years later…
…all leading to a conversation that brings a precious child to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.
Remember yesterday’s quote about gentleness?
True gentleness means that I accept the death of my sister as good knowing that God is using it to draw me and others closer to Him.
Welcome to God’s Family, Sweet Pea! You are now a true daughter of the King of kings. A Princess!
A teenager’s death. Grief and heartache for family and friends. Not in vain.