Bubs had a really rough weekend. It was a roller coaster of emotions with him happy at one moment and screaming fit for the next.
As I have stated before, Bubs is a very sweet little boy. His “fits” are so few and far between now that when they hit it totally takes me by surprise.
I have had others ask me what I mean by “fit”. Good question. I will try to explain.
First of all, Bubs is a normal five year old boy. He disobeys and makes bad choices sometimes. He is not perfect and is learning through mistakes. I expect this. That is not what I am taking about though. When Bubs is having a rough patch, he does things uncharacteristic of himself. Things that we have worked through that he no longer does such as slam doors, throw things, kick and scream, cry for long periods of time. During these times, he is an emotional rollercoaster. There is absolutely no chance to reason with him or talk him out of it. He has to work through it.
It used to be that these fits would last hours. Now, they typically last 15 minutes. After his third one on Saturday morning, I went into his room. He had calmed down and was ready for me to help him. He was sitting on his bed and with tears in his eyes and said “Mommy, I am so sorry.” I immediately pulled him into my arms and told him that I love him. That there is nothing that he can do to change this. I asked him why he was having trouble. He just cried saying “I don’t know.”
It’s true. He has no idea. He truly doesn’t want to act like this. He doesn’t want to have a fit. They scare him. He is out of control.
It breaks my heart as I hold my scared little boy. He kept saying “I want to stay right beside you, Mommy.”
I sit here typing in wonder. I have to help him get out of these fits… I can’t get discouraged. I can’t get mad. I have to teach him ways to stay in control.